Thursday, May 7, 2015

Changes, part II

Change is a good thing. It sparks creativity, leads to personal discovery, expands your boundaries, and apparently strengthens your brain. 

I guess it goes to show how much I blog these days, especially since my last post on change was nearly two months ago. There’s a HUGE change that I’ve known about for nine months (and then some.) We’re having another baby! Like, real soon.    

A baby boy, technically due four days ago. Goodness.

I'm not sure how to even begin to write about this little life that we will be meeting the next day or two, or three if he's extra stubborn like his sister (with our luck he totally is.) I'm sitting at my desk at work, completely unable to focus, daydreaming about all the little baby sighs, snuggles, and tiny missing socks that are coming my way. The heart swelling I'll feel as I stare into his eyes for the first time, the way those tiny fingers will clutch at mine.

Somehow in my hormonal mind I've glossed over the white-knuckled pain of labor, how awful those baby blues can be, what it's like to get poop in your hair (just kidding, I have a toddler. That sometimes still happens.) Fortunately I have a grounded husband who often reminds me of our impending doom, in the best way possible of course. He's not a glosser, and I am genuinely thankful for that. We're a good balance for each other.

There are so many changes in store for our current family of three, changes that none of us fully comprehend, and it is so exciting and terrifying. We've been talking about the baby for a while with Amelia to help prepare her. She is beyond excited to be a big sister, even though we don't know how much she fully comprehends it all. Chris is convinced she thinks her parents are slightly mental. We've moved her crib into the new nursery, the infant car seat is installed next to hers, tiny stacks of laundry are littered all over the house. But as far as she knows this baby is a figment of our imagination. This baby has also made me into a liar, considering I've been telling Amelia for a week now that her brother will be here any day now. A week is a very long time in toddler land. It's also a very long time in overdue pregnant lady land.

But for now, this baby gets to call the shots. And so we wait.