The End of Winter

In the Ross household, I think we have finally seen the end of the longest winter yet... metaphorically speaking, of course, since it's the third day of July. JULY.

Amelia has been sick for a very long time, nearly half a year when I count the days. The long and short of it? Chronic respiratory and digestive issues as well as poor weight gain, causes not entirely known. In the past few months, she has been medicated, x-rayed, tested for parasites and foreign diseases... pretty much everything short of more invasive measures. We have been told her issues were potentially caused by everything from teething to cystic fibrosis (that was a scary 48 hours, but her test processed quickly and came back very negative.)

There was a while, it seemed, that we lived at the doctor's office, making several trips a week. When her pediatrician couldn't help us, we were sent to a pediatric gastroenterologist in Kalamazoo. The specialist has had us avoid soy and dairy (common sensitivities for babies) for the past couple of months to see if it would help. It has been really difficult, especially since Amelia loved cheese, and soy is in every product imaginable these days. We've made it work for us with almond milk, coconut yogurt, whole foods, and all sorts of vegan recipes and treats.

Little by little, things have gotten better. Her digestive system slowed down enough for her blistering diaper rash to heal, and her respiratory problems aren't as severe either. I wouldn't say she is 100% back to normal, but then what is normal when it comes to babies, anyway? Babies shoot poop up their backs and think rocks are edible.

Last week, after yet another doctor's visit, we finally got the okay from the specialist to begin incorporating small amounts of dairy and soy back into her diet. We started this past weekend, mixing about an ounce of cow's milk into her usual almond-coconut blend. We've noticed a slight shift, but overall she's doing really well! Hopefully we are on the right track. Since I'm still nursing her and dairy can stay in a mama's system for a full two weeks, I will be avoiding it for a bit longer to make sure Amelia's system can fully handle dairy (but oh do I dream of the day when I can have cheese pizza for dinner and ice cream for dessert!)

Originally, I wasn't going to share this part of our life on GH. I'm still not sure this story is mine to tell - something I struggle with as a mom on social media. But the more I've been thinking about it, the more I realize that I turn to the internet a lot when Amelia is sick. Although one quick Google search of an illness can send you down a dark spiraling path of rare diseases, complicated medical sites and scary images, it can also uncover stories of families who are going through the same issues, and hearing about those experiences can be invaluable. So perhaps our story will help you or someone you know. Sometimes I really do hate the internet, but mostly I am reminded of the good that it can bring, too.

Mother's Day

This past Saturday, we celebrated my first mother's day. Goodness. 

It was a beautifully warm weekend -- we spent the entire day outside, gardening and chasing Amelia, and had delicious smoky BBQ ribs for dinner. It was simple, sweet, and couldn't have been more perfect. 

Instead of buying me a big bouquet, Chris took me to our local nursery, Linton's, to pick out flowers for our window box: purple wishbones, yellow begonias, and a few artillery plants (my new favorite succulent, pictured above.) The window box is a little scrappy looking at the moment, but I know the flowers will eventually fill in more and it makes me smile every time I leave the house.

Our little weeder gave me a bouquet of her own: dandelion tops from our yard. She proudly handed over the flowers that didn't end up in her mouth first. Words really cannot express how much Amelia Joy means to me. Seeing the world through her eyes, watching her grow and explore, the way she reacts to spring leaves and sunshine -- it is nothing short of magical.

Sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, holding her in a fluffy towel after bath time, and I'm taken aback by how natural it is to have her in my arms. She is mine, I am hers. I haven't even been a mother for a full year but sometimes it seems like she is all I have ever known.

It can be challenging but it is wonderful and I wouldn't have it any other way.

8/52, 9/52, 10/52, 11/52, 12/52, 13/52

Time for some baby overload... I'm catching up (yet again) on my 52 project photos.

A portrait of my child, once a week, every week, in 2014.

Amelia: Your newest obsession? Pulling every single shoe I own out of the closet. If I don't remember to shut the doors in the morning after getting dressed, I will inevitably find you here with a pile of flats at your feet. You're so fast at pulling them off the rack, too; five minutes is all you need. Stinker.

Amelia: I can barely look at this photo without tearing up. You have been sick all week with a 103 temperature and a terrible cough. The doctors still don't know what exactly is wrong. Too sick to play with even your favorite toys, you drifted off to sleep a few minutes after I took this photo.

Amelia: Why hello there! You are finally back to your normal energetic self after nearly two weeks of sickness: RSV, viral pnuemonia, and a 48 hour stomach bug (that I also caught.) You have been through so much, little squish, and daddy and I are so glad that you are feeling better!

Amelia: This particular nap went past the two hour mark, which is unheard of in this house. I'm sure you have lots of resting to catch up on after being so sick for so long. I myself have lots of staring at those squishy cheeks and mile-long eyelashes to catch up on, so this arrangement totally works.

Amelia: Sometimes I wonder when I'll stop taking pictures of your naps. 2 years? 20 years? We'll cross that bridge when we get to it, I suppose.

Amelia: I think you may be going through a growth spurt. Today we had dinner a little later than normal (chicken and cheese, your two favorites) and you just couldn't keep your eyes open. It was one of the cutest things ever - we even caught it on video, which will of course be played at your high school graduation open house. 

4/52, 5/52, 6/52

I'm playing a little catchup on my posts for the 52 Project. Surprisingly, I haven't fallen behind in taking these photos, just sharing them. I know I'm hardly two months into the project, but I am loving these weekly portraits of my daughter. Best resolution ever.

A portrait of my child, once a week, every week, in 2014. 

Amelia: I am loving your post-naptime greetings lately. As soon as you see me, your face lights up with that gummy grin of yours and you babble on and on, presumably telling me all about what you were dreaming of (my guess is milk and carpet fuzzies.) Even with a snotty nose, you are as cute as can be. 

Amelia: I think you are going through another growth spurt. Normally awake by 7:30 or sooner, you have slept in well past 8 every day this week. I can't ever bring myself to wake you, dreaming so peacefully, and I admit... I've enjoyed the extra quite time in the mornings with a hot cup of coffee and a book.

Amelia: Little stinker. You have been perfecting your crawling skills lately, and you are fast - faster than I can focus the camera lens as you come at me.

3/52

A portrait of my child, once a week, every week, in 2014.

Amelia: You have learned a new trick: pulling yourself to stand, and you are so proud of yourself. Now you can walk along the couch, reach the magnets on the fridge, and, much to my delight, greet me after a nap.

2/52

A portrait of my child, once a week, every week, in 2014.

Amelia: Daddy was working in the kitchen and you were playing in the living room as I kept my eye on you through the office doorway. In a moment of cuteness (something that happens a lot around here) you reached into one of your toy bins and decided to stay put. I love you.

1/52

A portrait of my child, once a week, every week, in 2014.

Amelia: I caught you studying the textures and patterns of our wedding quilt with your sweet little dimpled fingers. My curious little seven-month-old.

Read more about the 52 project.

Amelia Joy Ross

One of the first photos of my daughter, moments after being born

Our baby girl arrived on May 22 at 7:13 in the evening. 7 pounds, 0.5 ounces. 20.25 inches long. Her name is Amelia Joy and she is completely perfect.

She has a head full of thick brown hair, the cutest button nose, and deep blue eyes that are just beginning to focus on her world. Christopher and I are completely smitten with her curled little toes, her squeals and sighs, her chubby thighs... everything.

It's pretty incredible to think that today she turns two weeks old. Goodness. She's already changed so much! We're growing to know each other more and more every day, and it is one of the most rewarding things (albeit challenging) I've ever been a part of. Even now as she sleeps on my chest, my heart has grown larger than I thought possible.

Posting on GH may be a little sporadic as I get used to motherhood (specifically, the lack of sleep) but I'll do my best to share little updates as I can in between baby snuggles.