Thursday, April 17, 2014

Whatever is True

Lately I’ve been thinking about why I have a blog. It happens every now and then.

I’ve been thinking about all the bits and pieces that fill my heart, the things I want to gather up and share with you here. I’ve been thinking about first birthdays and sunshine, fragrant herb gardens and fresh strawberries. Dimpled little hands, floral print dresses, swing sets, long walks through the neighborhood with a squish who tries to catch the wind. How wonderful it is to share my life with those I love. I’ve been dreaming of afternoons spent on the shores of Lake Michigan, the satisfying feeling of making something with my own hands, the way warm asphalt smells after the rain.

As I have written before, I want to focus on whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable – things that are excellent and praiseworthy.

Easier said than done, my friends. As blessed as I am, I find myself dwelling on the negative lately. The way motherhood has changed my body, the bags under my eyes after yet another sleepless night. The worrisome thought that my sweet little girl is sick more often than she is healthy. House expenses, college debit, a winter that will not end. The judgement that I pass on myself and on others when I am feeling inadequate as a wife, mother, designer, human being. It all hangs heavy on my heart and sometimes I just can’t shake it.

So, I’m going to revamp my small slice of the internet and really focus on the things that are true, pure, and lovely. I want to share more of my experiences about the things that make life worth living, to catalogue the pieces of my heart instead of letting my thoughts dwell on the negative. I want to keep things real and honest, and stay grounded. But most of all, I want to live in the present and keep my focus on what is true.


Abbyblujay said...

Beautifully written, Katherine. I'm going to hug you now.

Carrie said...

What Abby said.

I often find myself flipping back and forth between shutting my blog down and posting more. When I started blogging it was for much different reasons and those reasons aren't reading anymore so I'm sometimes left with this ambiguous idea of what I want it to be or become.

Being a mom and working full time was, and is, a challenge. (You are nailing it btw.) It is easy for me to feel less than adequate about being a good mom, wife, friend, daughter, bread-winner, person. I constantly second guess myself and If we were to meet irl I'm almost positive I would say something embarrassing and then replay it over and over again wishing I could take it back.

I'm excited about your revamp. I like when you post.

Tang said...

This sounds perfect. :)