Tiny Thoughts about Tiny Things

Today, I feel like I reached a major milestone as a woman. I bought a colorful toddler's activity center, as well as a sweet little blue chenille puppy. The first ever baby items to grace my own home permanently.

Now before any of you freak out -- no, I'm not pregnant! The toys are for my niece Adalynn, who just turned one last Monday. We babysat for her tonight, and now that she is transitioning from baby to toddler, Chris and I thought it would be fun to have a few toys at our house for her to play with when she's visiting. We're actually kind of obsessed with the entire B. Toys line at Target (especially the Meowsic keyboard) and when we saw the solid wood activity center a few weeks ago, we knew we had to have it.

I've heard stories of women who secretly hoard baby booties and onesies... stuffed in boxes and tucked away in the back of closets for their someday-children. I am definitely not that kind of woman. Babies kind of gross me out, to be honest. Sure, they're sweet and innocent and the future of our nation... I totally get that. But the diaper blow-outs and pureed pea projectile vomiting? No thank you. Not too long ago, I was helping change Addie's diaper and I had to drop her and run away because I was gagging so much that I had tears in my eyes. How something so tiny could smell so awful will always be a mystery to me.

The thing is... it was today, browsing the security blankets, lullaby music boxes and sweet little stuffed animals, that I felt a peculiar twinge. I could do this. I could be a mom.

Okay, so I'm not really ready for a baby... but is anyone ever really ready to have a baby? To bring a little life into this world and care for it, nurture it, teach it everything they know? Probably not. Christopher has been wanting to start our family for a while now, but I've always resisted the idea until lately. I think I've just hit that point in life where, if I were to get pregnant, I would be happy. Blissfully so, even. 

I'd be lying to you if I didn't say this feeling is scary and a little weird. There are still about a million and three things I'd like to accomplish before having a kid... things like knocking out our debt (like that's going to happen anytime soon, though, thank you private schooling), owning a house, furthering my career, traveling the world a little more and enjoying my youth just a little bit longer, you know?

And there's the whole poop/snot/barf aversion I have... got to get over that for sure.